It would feel odd to begin a blog about my life without talking about the current ‘pandemic’ we are living in. ‘Corona Virus’, ‘Covid-19’, ‘THE virus’ ‘It’.

The above picture was taken right before lockdown was enforced-if that’s even the right word..? As I write this we are on day 48 of lockdown. DAY 48! Initially when this all started, it was worrying, dont get me wrong, but looking back I was very naive toward the situation. I didn’t think we would be here on day 48 without any real sign of normality in the near future.

So what’s changed? Initially everyone panic bought items they felt would run out sharpish, things I didn’t think would be a worry… until everyone else worried that is. Items like; pasta, rice, chopped tomatoes, soap, TOILET ROLL- this was particularly crackers! Some people were scared, some people didn’t care- some still don’t!

Living on the Isle of Man, things are slightly different to the UK and other places around the world. Like many places we are asked to stay home, non-essential shops have been closed, as well as parks and anywhere else that may encourage people to gather. All schools have been closed- being a teacher myself, this was a HUGE surprise to me, something I had heard talks about but didn’t think would actually happen! Thankfully we can go outside, we can exercise alone or with people from the same household, meaning most people we see out and about move away or cross the road away from you- a strange feeling, but one to be glad of at the moment. The island now has a 40mph speed limit in derestircted areas, most people are wearing masks and gloves to do their food shop and we’re all following arrows and standing in boxes that keep us 2 metres apart.

As a teacher I am classed as a ‘key worker’- someone who is working on the frontline to provide an essential service. Thankfully/unfortunately- it depends on which way you look at it, I have only been into our school hub once as Harry’s nursery has closed and Niall is still working full time.

That day at our school hub was saddening to say the least. Although it was a nice change of scenery for me and a good distraction, I had this huge feeling of guilt- worrying that I may bring this awful virus home with me to my family. I found it heart breaking having to constantly remind the children to manage their personal space, ‘don’t sit too close’, ‘move away’, ‘spread out’ ‘remember we can’t share that’ etc. I was also very aware that the children were looking forward to seeing me, ‘Miss Rutter’, a fresh face to spend the day with. This too made me feel terribly guilty, guilty that I didn’t want them to come too close, guilty that I couldnt provide them with the fun learning they deserved due to restrictions. Most of the children in our hub are there everyday- Mon-Fri. It’s such a long time to be with the same group of people, as adults we would struggle. These children are spending their days without their friends, using the same space ‘allocated’ to them, within a school that isn’t even theirs. They know that most of their peers are at home playing on their Xbox’s, doing as they please… and here they are, stuck at school doing the ‘distance learning’ their teachers have provided. We as teachers are of course trying our best, trying to engage the children as much as possible but it’s hard, hard for them and hard for us.

I don’t know what the next month will look like, the next week in fact, all we can do is hope things are going to improve and everyone can start moving forward. Here’s hoping…